The Effects of Covid-19 on Kid’s Mental Health and Online Learning.
EHK Founder, Tammany Petrie interviewed Everyday Hero & Psychotherapist, Candice Hamilton-Miller, RP, M.Sc. CCC to talk about kids and the impact the last year has had on their mental health and schooling.
To learn more about Candice Hamilton-Miller, visit her profile at www.ehkidshealth.com & meet her online by watching her interview.
EHK — Throughout your experiences over the past year, how do you think online learning has affected mental health and education outcomes?
CHM — The truth is we don’t really know because we haven’t had this experience before, so we have never really studied the affects long-term. We are all just ‘flying by the seat of our pants’ and we won’t truly understand the impacts until we study them over the next few years.
It is especially hard for Kindergarten kids who learn so much by being in the classroom. They learn by doing and for some it’s their first experience with the English language. This is a critical phase of development that has been dramatically impacted by online learning.
However, it is important to remember that we didn’t have a choice. In times of undue hardship it is important to remember that we have no choice and that we just need to get through it and make it to the other side.
EHK — What have you been hearing from parents on the impacts of their kid’s mental health and what are you seeing and hearing in your practice?
CHM — There is not a ‘one size fits all’ solution to any of this! It’s like trying to go shopping for one pair of pants to fit everyone and it just doesn’t work that way. There have been good and bad outcomes due to the pandemic. The pandemic has not caused all mental health problems -they were there prior to the pandemic but the last year has highlighted where the problems are. Kids have now spent an entire year under the care of their parents. Prior to the pandemic there were mental health issues but working parents often can’t slow down enough to see them. The pandemic has made us stop and slow down enough to see them. We have now been left with our thoughts and had to face our demons.
EHK — What would you say has been a positive outcome (if any) through all of this?
CHM — We never have the opportunity to get to know our kids in the way we have over the last year. That is what I would say has been an unintended positive outcome from the pandemic. Kids are often sent to daycare so young that their peers become their primary attachment figures when this should be parents. Primary attachment figures make kids feel safe, secure and regulated. With changing caregivers, children are not getting consistency and this system is not designed to provide security and attachment or protect kids from anxiety.
EHK — What are kids saying to you about their feelings towards online schooling?
CHM — There are 2 camps of kids. Camp 1 hates virtual learning. It moves too quickly — both because it has changed in format (quadmester) and speed. It is hard to hear teachers, often there are technical glitches and all are facing mental/zoom fatigue. Kids are missing out on socialization with peers but also those ‘side-bar’ conversations during class where they can lean over and chat with a classmate. This is particularly hard for little ones. Young children cannot be expected to just sit still and listen — they never do that! Kids feel an over-whelming inability to be heard. They can’t just speak up — they have to ‘unmute’ themselves so there is this whole process technically that really inhibits human connection.
Then there is Camp 2 — These are the anxious kids, kids with sensory issues, learning disabilities or gifted kids that like to work ahead — some of these kids have done better with the virtual learning and seem to like it. Again, it is important to remember that none of this is universal. We are trying to find a universal solution but everyone is different.
EHK — How have you seen COVID-19 impact e-health?
CHM — There has always been online therapy, but most were uncomfortable with it. The pandemic has forced us out of our comfort zone and we have been forced to do it. Some people still are not comfortable and won’t do it — and that’s okay also — but most most people have realized it’s pretty cool! In the past, therapy has taken 3 hours — driving to and from appointments etc. Now it only takes one hour and you can do it on a walk or after the kids go to bed, ..etc. But as an online therapist I have also seen some interesting situations and so it is important to remember there still needs to be professional boundaries — i.e. you can’t be in bed while on your call. Online therapy is particularly helpful for kids going off to University and it’s great to be able to continue supporting those kids throughout their school year.
EHK — As a mental health professional, what advice would you give to parents during these unprecedented times? What about families that don’t have access to professional mental health support?
CHM —
1) It is important to remember to focus on yourself and let your kids know to focus on themselves and ask yourself how you are doing. The pandemic has really helped break the stigma on mental health and it’s important to recognize that we are all doing the best we can and to cut ourselves some slack.
2) Check in with your kids and communicate where we are at but make it casual — don’t be a drill sergeant. Have an ice cream, sit down on the grass, chat about anything. These conversations will take the pressure off. Avoid intense conversations and make it easy!
3) Validate the times we are living in and recognize that it is hard.
4) If you can, don’t focus on grades so much. Instead, focus more on “let’s just get through this.” Focus on just getting through June. For younger kids, participation awards at the end of the week are a nice idea. Perhaps a small Lego set at the end of a long week and take the time to really enjoy that reward.
EHK — What resources do you recommend for younger kids up to teens?
CHM — For younger kids I love “The Unworry Book” by Alice James. For Tweens and Teens I recommend “The Big Life Journal” by Alexandra Eidens — (there is an edition for kids and an edition for teens) and for older teens and young adults I highly recommend Ted Talks. There are so many fantastic Ted Talks that can help.
EHK — Thank you Candice for taking the time to share this information with the EHK community and for sharing your extensive list of recommended TED TALKS below. You can visit Candice’s profile on Everyday Heroes Kids and also visit her website at www.chmtherapy.com
Ted Talks: *note some of these talks are for parents & some are for teens.
Lunch and Learn — Food for your Brain. TED Talks for thought!
Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work
https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work
Anil Seth: Your brain hallucinates your conscious reality
https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality
Lisa Feldman Barrett: You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions — your brain creates them
Sabine Doebel: How your brain’s executive function works — and how to improve it
Tim Ferriss: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals
https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals
Mike Kinney: A pro wrestler’s guide to confidence
https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_kinney_a_pro_wrestler_s_guide_to_confidence
Joel Leon: The beautiful, hard work of co-parenting
https://www.ted.com/talks/joel_leon_the_beautiful_hard_work_of_co_parenting
Julie Lythcott-Haims: How to raise successful kids — without over-parenting
https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting
Jennifer Petriglieri: How working couples can best support each other
https://www.ted.com/talks/jennifer_petriglieri_how_working_couples_can_best_support_each_other
Jenna McCarthy: What you don’t know about marriage
https://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage
Kathryn Bouskill: The unforeseen consequences of a fast-paced world
https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_bouskill_the_unforeseen_consequences_of_a_fast_paced_world
Andy Puddicombe: All it takes is 10 mindful minutes
https://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes
Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend
https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend
Gary Wolf: The quantified self
https://www.ted.com/talks/gary_wolf_the_quantified_self
Emily Nagoski: How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime
Matt Cutts: Try something new for 30 days
https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days
Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
Matthieu Ricard: the habits of happiness
Uri Hasson: This is your brain on communication
https://www.ted.com/talks/uri_hasson_this_is_your_brain_on_communication
Mehdi Ordikhani-Seyedlar: What happens in your brain when you pay attention?
https://www.ted.com/talks/mehdi_ordikhani_seyedlar_what_happens_in_your_brain_when_you_pay_attention
Julian Treasure: 5 ways to listen better
https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better
Kay M Tye: neural pathways and the mental health.
Lucy Hone: 3 secrets of resilient people
https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_hone_3_secrets_of_resilient_people
Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage
Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy
https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy
Kevin Briggs: The bridge between suicide and life
https://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_briggs_the_bridge_between_suicide_and_life
Nora McInerny: We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it
https://www.ted.com/talks/nora_mcinerny_we_don_t_move_on_from_grief_we_move_forward_with_it
Suleika Jaouad: What almost dying taught me about living
https://www.ted.com/talks/suleika_jaouad_what_almost_dying_taught_me_about_living
Elizabeth Cox: What is imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?
https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_cox_what_is_imposter_syndrome_and_how_can_you_combat_it
Jeffery Seigal: what makes muscles grow https://www.ted.com/talks/jeffrey_siegel_what_makes_muscles_grow?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Emma Bryce: what is a calorie https://www.ted.com/talks/emma_bryce_what_is_a_calorie?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Mia Nacamuli: how the food you eat affects your brain: https://www.ted.com/talks/mia_nacamulli_how_the_food_you_eat_affects_your_brain?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Guy Winch: why we all need to practice emotional first aid. https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_why_we_all_need_to_practice_emotional_first_aid?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Amy Cuddy: Your body language may shape who you are
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are
Christine Carter: The 1-minute secret to forming a new habit
https://www.ted.com/talks/christine_carter_the_1_minute_secret_to_forming_a_new_habit
Tim Urban: Inside the mind of a master procrastinator
https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator
Laura Vanderkam: How to gain control of your free time
https://www.ted.com/talks/laura_vanderkam_how_to_gain_control_of_your_free_time
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness
Candice Hamilton-Miller, RP, M.Sc. CCC
Registered Psychotherapist
Certified Cogmed Coach
CHM Therapy Services
